I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
