Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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