you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
So squirting runs in the family.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize