Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
