Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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