Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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