Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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