and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
