At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
