oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
there is puke in my bra ... again
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
