For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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