I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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