Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
