What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
