i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
