I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
