pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
