i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
