is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
