I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
