ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
