Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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