Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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