Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
