Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize