Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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