So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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