He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
