I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
