I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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