so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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