He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize