its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
