I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
nutella sex= disaster
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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