this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
