I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize