it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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