Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
