They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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