His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
