mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
