thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize