awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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