i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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