I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
