so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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