the new term for farting is butt boxing.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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