its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
