So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
