Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
