I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
