Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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