The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Let's get the cat blown out
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
