Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
send nudes
from the living room?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
