The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The Olympian is in my bed
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
