I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
