I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
