I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
