i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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