I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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