OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
