We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize