Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
