Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
