I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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