Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just invented taco cereal.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Someone signed my nipple.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
