I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
